Cleaning your 2000 parts

Is there a better store than Target? Seriously, where else can you get everything from feminine products to the new Rascal Flatts CD to a fire pit for your backyard to a pill that turns the water in your crapper blue. They've even revolutionized the pharmaceutical process. I myself love the store, and find it completely reasonable to drive out of the way to go there to save 34 cents on my deodorant, 42 cents on my asswipe, a whopping dollar on my various cleaning products, and maybe even 25 cents on my shower soap; meanwhile, I walk around the fucking store for an hour trying to find anything and completely rationalizing purchasing other random shit that I definitely don't need, but since I'm at Target I may as well buy the item in question, therefore I am not only not saving money, but I'm spending more money at the damn store, more of my time walking around like a fuckin moron staring aimlessly at shit trying to decide if I really need more light bulbs, car fresheners, nicotine patches, mousetraps, toasters, candles, greeting cards, azaleas, or a shitty movie that I've seen 100 times, but hey, it's only $10, so why not; all the while putting more money into Tricky Dick's pocket with my excess fuel consumption, just so I can have something to shave my pubes off with (I blame you women, and my short dick, which looks bigger with shorter pubes, and the Sex Cannon for giving the rest of us unattainable goals to shoot for) but I digress.

There was a point to all this, and if you've made it this far, congratulations. ANYWAY, I was at Target for one reason and one reason only, to buy body soap. The ex used to buy all sorts of fancy schmancy stuff, but I like to stick with straight, non-scented Lever 2000. What's the point of showering with that fruity crap when you're going to smell like a bar towel soaked in nicotine and tar in an hour anyway? Of course, Target didn't have the non-scented stuff (note to self: a grey dot over the price tag on the shelf means they're out, so says Hector at the Target on Balboa and Genesee), so now I have to go back to Target tonight to get it. In the meanwhile, enjoy this video:



How To Shower - Men & Women - The best bloopers are a click away

Sombrero vueltiao i Lulea

Upon recent surfs through the intrawebsuperduperblogohighwaysphere, I came across these guys:

They run some crazy Colombian blog (unfortunately not about coffee OR cocaine, or donkeys, or Juan Valdez or her), and the description to their exploits is this:

Hej, we are two colombian guys who want to show how we get fun where we are
coming from. Colombia is a very nice country whith good people and, in Luleå,
you had the oportunity to get some pictures of yourself "being colombian" for a
while. We hope you enjoy these memories.

"Hej?" "How we get fun?" I may be crazy (and in all fairness, I am), but upon review of their blog, methinks that Tim Hardaway does not approve of "being Columbian". Or he at least wants to be told upfront if you're Colombian, or if you have coffee or cocaine, I think mules and their women are safe, though.

Elbows and Knees

Two days, two horrific basketball injuries. This led me to think, when did the game of basketball become so dangerous? Everyone knows football is dangerous (concussions, snapped legs, herpes from strippers in Atlanta), but the basketball injury seems to be a new phenomenon. I myself realized the dangers of roundball many years ago, when I (at the ripe height of 4'6"ish) decided to become the next Spud Webb. I set up a trash can upside down, climbed on top of it, and attempted a dunk(using my newly acquired Pizza Hut Final Four ball), subsequently knocking the trash can over, slipping off the rim, and falling ass-first onto the concrete, the ball following to bonk me in the head for good measure. I thought my injury was painful, but good gravy, this weekend took it up a notch. For those who enjoy other people in pain, or are just sick, sick individuals, check out the links below:

Brian Butch's Elbow
Shaun Livingston's Knee

Long Walks on the Beach by Oneself: Gay or Not Gay?

Don't answer that. I know the answer already. SCREW YOU FOR JUDGING ME!!!

This should be an interesting experiment in blogging, as neither my compatriate nor I have any experience with it. Oh, we're both "writers" in the academic sense of the title, as we both tangentially make our living by expressing ourselves through words. But it's not in a sexy, chicks-dig-smart-guys kinda way. It's in a holy-fuck-I'm-a-corporate-sellout-for-writing-this-shit sorta way. So we concocted this little bugger to chronicle our existence, as well as give as a chance to vent.

Oh, and I think I'm going to adopt a writing style that features a wonderful quirk of the headline and first sentence having nothing to do with the post. Or maybe I won't. Fuck you, it's my fucking blog.

Quitting Smoking, Day One

So I'm quitting smoking, fo real. I've smoked for only a year or so, and all the asshole smokers out there say things like, "I've got ten years on you, ten!" Congratulations! You're 10 years closer to death! I set today as a target date, and goddamn if I didn't stick to it. I will go 10 days without a cigarette if it kills me, and it just may. In an effort to expidite and keep the process from driving me absolutely insane (or just so I don't turn into one of these guys), I'll be keeping track of my progress (?) here at SIAB. Email me to give me encouragement, or just drop a line, and check in on my progress.

Update (2/27/07)
Today is going well, but if it gets hard, I can always make these, and not feel guilty about buying smokes.

Kissing Suzy Kolber: Your 2006 NFL Drinking and Drugging Season Preview

Kissing Suzy Kolber: Your 2006 NFL Drinking and Drugging Season Preview